I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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