They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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