We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
