i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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