is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
God, I missed his penis.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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