Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
