How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
