Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
