so explain again why im purple
no
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
