I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
