i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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