loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
