Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
