We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
