oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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