Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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