they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
