8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
