I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
