if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
