I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
