The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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