my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
