I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
