You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
