a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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