Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
