He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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