How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
