I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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