And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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