I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
