whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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