The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
