someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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