I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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