what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
