Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
