She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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