New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
