Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
