batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
