Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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