i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
