Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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