did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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