I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
