Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
