I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
