Are we in a gay sports bar?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
