you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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