let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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