You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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