he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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