You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
